As in, living the crazy life! Taz sure does see to that!
I've been caught under the weather due to a virus going around and it's slowed me quite a bit. Some children have compassion and keep things toned down. Then the other type see and opportunity and seize it. My little Jacoby is one of these types. Carpe Diem is a life motto for him it seems. Good qualities for him to have, I'm just aiming to survive his childhood.
I awoke this morning with a medicine induced broken fever so I was a bit sluggish going through the morning routine. Taz noticed immediately and placed his life motto into action. While I was filling cups and setting up for the morning, I missed a few components of the morning routine that are vital. I forgot to lock the bathroom and I was delayed in securing the gate on the stairs.
After finding the house rather quiet and knowing this isn't right with Jacoby awake I began that sinking feeling in my stomach. I was on immediate search duty because silence in his world isn't a matter of if he's into something but what he's into. I found him in the bathroom and he was all smiles and proud of himself. He declared he was cleaning and showed to me what he cleaned. He wiped down the sink, the toilet, the floor, the wall, the door, and himself. Gladly I did away with dangerous cleaners because of his propensity to lick surfaces such as windows, floors, doors, couches, cats and siblings. I use a vinegar cleaner to make sure he is safe. (Not to clean the cat, naturally.) Of course he didn't get his hands on that. Nooooo. He found the air freshener I keep in the bathroom to, uh, freshen the air. He sprayed all the aforementioned surfaces, including himself, and declared he'd cleaned the bathroom as well as declaring he'd taken a bath. Giving credit where credit is due, the kid is efficient.
Not much later, after putting breakfast on the table I figure it's awfully quiet. I went searching and found nothing. No Jacoby. I spied the open gate. I ran downstairs and he has the television on and he's pointing the Wii remote at it and pushing buttons madly. He declared to me it was broken and needed batteries. Or to be turned on, but hey, why disagree with the kid? I shooed him back upstairs into the safer zone for him. I say safer because there is no Jacoby-proof room unless it's padded and empty.
At lunch time I go looking for my missing Taz and he's emptied his entire dresser onto the floor. Really not feeling well and annoyed to have to help him clean this mess up, I am one to find a silver lining. I was definetely grateful that he did not remove all the drawers from the dresser this time, entombing the cat in the stacked pile, or pull them out in a stair stacked fashion and climb to the top of them. Again.
Here's where I tell you I see a pattern fashioning. I should simply stop preparing meals for the children and Jacoby won't have reason to get into trouble. That, or tie him to a chair while I work. We do have some unused wire ties in the tool closet....
After lunch, I had to repeat myself that he should not throw his strawberries out the living room window. I do think at this point we'll have an impromptu strawberry patch out there. I had to tell him not to put his elephant out the window too, but at that point he'd figured out the elephant wouldn't fit out the window. Something about having to say that just feels wrong.
After his nap, he awoke quietly and decided to go play in Mommy's bathroom. After all, it was unlocked. I walk in there to find him with my new tube of toothpaste in one hand, a toothbrush in the other and globs of toothpaste all over the floor. I asked him what he was doing and all he said was, "Mmmmm." Apparently I should switch his toothpaste flavor. I called in Rea and Jacoby looks at his Daddy and says, pointing to the floor, "Oh! It's mess!"
I did ask my husband why he didn't lock the door and his response was that Jacoby was sleeping. I just shook my head and smiled. In any other household, that would be reasonable.
I opened my email a little while ago and saw a quote that a friend shared. It was so perfect for today that I laughed!
By Jerry Seinfeld: "A two year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it."
Amen to that!
Psalm 21:6
For You make him most blessed forever;You make him joyful with gladness in Your presence.
