Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow
By Gregory Keck, Regina M. Kupecky & L.G. Mansfield
304 Pages
This book is actually a second book written by these authors, and although I will go back and read the first for information (the topic is attachment), the reason I chose to read this one first was that I wanted the practical, every day information to help me help children affected by trauma of any kind. I was looking for the nitty-gritty do’s and don’ts and why’s and how-to’s that experienced individuals could offer me. Enough therapists and theories and science for now. (I’ve read so much of that lately!) I wanted to read from a Mama and Papa that loves their children, whether they are a part of their lives for one day or for every day coming to them as a family. These authors are therapists and despite that, they come across as loving and concerned, well-researched and experienced.
This book is sectioned by well-defined chapters and if that isn’t helpful enough, they have an index in the back by category should you need to reference their wisdom later for specific issues. The book is easy to read with no need to have a dictionary on hand to place clinical terms into lay-mans terms. Although I am not un-educated, I really appreciate the “we’re in the trenches with you” feeling that comes across while reading. With a quiet space and a cup of coffee, you get the feeling you’re speaking with an experienced friend who is willing to invest their knowledge in you.
The information found and received was very helpful to me and I find myself still thinking on it and mulling it over, even a week after reading. They had no easy answers for anything, as working with hurt children is simply not easy, but they offered encouragement and words of wisdom that spoke of the children being worth any and all efforts given. I love that they make it clear that it’s “normal” that your family is no longer “normal”. Having traumatized children in your home makes your family different and those that have not worn these shoes will simply not understand, and that’s ok. Parenting traumatized children is simply not the same as parenting your child from birth who has fully bonded and always been secure. The difference is like night and day, and I really appreciate the insight that is offered alongside some examples of mistakes as well as successes.
I’ve come away from this book with a lot of really good pictures of what is really going on inside the head of someone doing/saying something that doesn’t make sense to me. This was important to me, as I can’t count how many times I held a screaming/raging 4 year old and simply cried in my heart, “what makes you, you?” or simply feeling at a loss for not understanding, but desperately wanting to. I simply want to understand so that I may be more effective in caring for the little friends that come through our house.
Four year olds cannot put into words what these adults have written, but I’m so grateful for the peek inside the ‘workings of a hurt mind’ to see what is going on. I loved the encouragement to keep trying, to keep pushing through, to keep on keeping on. These children are worth it, and with the practical advice given, I feel better prepared to help these little people. That, is very useful.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Book Review
I know, I know. It's been a reeeeeeally long time since I last posted and although I have a pocketful of reasons to offer, I shall keep them to myself. All you need to know is that we as a family are in a hard season, and myself as an individual am in a hard season on many fronts. God is faithful and the valley is important to experience to fully appreciate the mountaintop.
Today I have to offer two opinions on foster care and adoption books that I read to gain not only more knowledge, but hours of increased learning and training for our license upkeep. Just in case you are a foster parent and are reading, here you go.
When a Stranger Calls You Mom
By Katharine Leslie, PhD
235 pages
I’ve been chewing on the material I read in this book for a while now, and I’m fairly certain I’ve reached an opinion on this book, although I reserve my right to change my mind as this book left me re-evaluating and/or confirming some personal viewpoints. Although I wouldn’t say that I’d not recommend this book to other foster and/or adoptive parents I’m not sure I’d go as far as to say I would recommend this book. I’m left on the fence. It has challenged me to think and consider my views which is a great goal of any piece of writing, but it also has various downsides, to which I will share in a moment. Overall, I guess I’d leave it as an option to read for dedicated, experienced foster parents but I would not go out of my way to address it as a resource. I think offering this book up front to brand new ‘recruits’ would scare them away. Honestly, if you’d suggest I read this before ever actually experiencing foster care myself, I’d have picked up my feet and run the other way. Seriously.
On the positive side for Ms. Leslie, she has multifaceted experience to offer. She lauds herself as a “Social Services Consultant, Professional Trainer, Parenting Coach, and a Mother of 4 adopted Children”. She also has a PhD in psychology and child development so she really knows what she’s talking about.
In her writing she offers some examples of what she’s talking about and that is helpful. She draws from experience as well as science for her reasoning and viewpoints. She expresses herself clearly and has a very good understanding and handle on what is really going on. She has a very good ideal as to how foster care should operate. About 75% through the book she offers some really good advice that can be incorporated into a family that is working with a troubled child.
As to the points that I did not like in this collection, my first and foremost criticism would be her constant use of technical terms. She just can’t let them go. Really. She used a ridiculous amount of very large words and plenty of scientific terms to make sure the reader is hung up on trying to understand her and follow what she’s saying instead of simply assimilating the information offered. Her target readership is foster parents. Surely she should know time isn’t a cheap commodity among that group, so she shouldn’t waste it! I’m sure this wasn’t intentional on her part, but it makes for a frustrating read. Fortunately for me I have come across many of those words before in prior reading and research I’ve done so I did not need to spend copious amounts of time looking up the meanings, this go around. I’m sure this is a pet peeve of mine, but annoying none the less!
Secondly, she spends the first 40% of the book going over terms and definitions and groupings and development timelines and yada, yada, yada. None of that information was enough to give a good feel for the subject as each of her headings could be a book of information unto themselves. In fact, they are. My opinion is that she should have taken an assumption that those reading the book understood the basics, or had been extremely brief in reviewing the information. She used just enough information to drive me crazy trying to read it, but not enough to be in depth. Again, lucky for me, I’ve read several of her topics in other books by other people. I really put this book down over and over again because I struggled to get through her information. The book is dull and overly sober.
When all is said and done, although she has adopted four children with extensive backgrounds from foster care, the overall feeling left me when I was done with the book was a sense of anxiety and a feeling of “why bother?”. I’m definitely sure this was not intentional on her part as she does state she is dedicated to her adopted children and loves them very much. She does, however, state in clear and terrifying terms just how much people can mess up their kids and the socio-paths they can become because of it despite the attempts of adoptive and/or foster parents to intervene. She states several times that love is simply not enough and it is unnecessary to mention it just so many times.
This book gets one thumb up, one thumb down from me. The scant few pages of practical advice that is given is a gem; the overall depressing attitude is unwarranted.
Today I have to offer two opinions on foster care and adoption books that I read to gain not only more knowledge, but hours of increased learning and training for our license upkeep. Just in case you are a foster parent and are reading, here you go.
When a Stranger Calls You Mom
By Katharine Leslie, PhD
235 pages
I’ve been chewing on the material I read in this book for a while now, and I’m fairly certain I’ve reached an opinion on this book, although I reserve my right to change my mind as this book left me re-evaluating and/or confirming some personal viewpoints. Although I wouldn’t say that I’d not recommend this book to other foster and/or adoptive parents I’m not sure I’d go as far as to say I would recommend this book. I’m left on the fence. It has challenged me to think and consider my views which is a great goal of any piece of writing, but it also has various downsides, to which I will share in a moment. Overall, I guess I’d leave it as an option to read for dedicated, experienced foster parents but I would not go out of my way to address it as a resource. I think offering this book up front to brand new ‘recruits’ would scare them away. Honestly, if you’d suggest I read this before ever actually experiencing foster care myself, I’d have picked up my feet and run the other way. Seriously.
On the positive side for Ms. Leslie, she has multifaceted experience to offer. She lauds herself as a “Social Services Consultant, Professional Trainer, Parenting Coach, and a Mother of 4 adopted Children”. She also has a PhD in psychology and child development so she really knows what she’s talking about.
In her writing she offers some examples of what she’s talking about and that is helpful. She draws from experience as well as science for her reasoning and viewpoints. She expresses herself clearly and has a very good understanding and handle on what is really going on. She has a very good ideal as to how foster care should operate. About 75% through the book she offers some really good advice that can be incorporated into a family that is working with a troubled child.
As to the points that I did not like in this collection, my first and foremost criticism would be her constant use of technical terms. She just can’t let them go. Really. She used a ridiculous amount of very large words and plenty of scientific terms to make sure the reader is hung up on trying to understand her and follow what she’s saying instead of simply assimilating the information offered. Her target readership is foster parents. Surely she should know time isn’t a cheap commodity among that group, so she shouldn’t waste it! I’m sure this wasn’t intentional on her part, but it makes for a frustrating read. Fortunately for me I have come across many of those words before in prior reading and research I’ve done so I did not need to spend copious amounts of time looking up the meanings, this go around. I’m sure this is a pet peeve of mine, but annoying none the less!
Secondly, she spends the first 40% of the book going over terms and definitions and groupings and development timelines and yada, yada, yada. None of that information was enough to give a good feel for the subject as each of her headings could be a book of information unto themselves. In fact, they are. My opinion is that she should have taken an assumption that those reading the book understood the basics, or had been extremely brief in reviewing the information. She used just enough information to drive me crazy trying to read it, but not enough to be in depth. Again, lucky for me, I’ve read several of her topics in other books by other people. I really put this book down over and over again because I struggled to get through her information. The book is dull and overly sober.
When all is said and done, although she has adopted four children with extensive backgrounds from foster care, the overall feeling left me when I was done with the book was a sense of anxiety and a feeling of “why bother?”. I’m definitely sure this was not intentional on her part as she does state she is dedicated to her adopted children and loves them very much. She does, however, state in clear and terrifying terms just how much people can mess up their kids and the socio-paths they can become because of it despite the attempts of adoptive and/or foster parents to intervene. She states several times that love is simply not enough and it is unnecessary to mention it just so many times.
This book gets one thumb up, one thumb down from me. The scant few pages of practical advice that is given is a gem; the overall depressing attitude is unwarranted.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Livin' la vida LOCO!
As in, living the crazy life! Taz sure does see to that!
I've been caught under the weather due to a virus going around and it's slowed me quite a bit. Some children have compassion and keep things toned down. Then the other type see and opportunity and seize it. My little Jacoby is one of these types. Carpe Diem is a life motto for him it seems. Good qualities for him to have, I'm just aiming to survive his childhood.
I awoke this morning with a medicine induced broken fever so I was a bit sluggish going through the morning routine. Taz noticed immediately and placed his life motto into action. While I was filling cups and setting up for the morning, I missed a few components of the morning routine that are vital. I forgot to lock the bathroom and I was delayed in securing the gate on the stairs.
After finding the house rather quiet and knowing this isn't right with Jacoby awake I began that sinking feeling in my stomach. I was on immediate search duty because silence in his world isn't a matter of if he's into something but what he's into. I found him in the bathroom and he was all smiles and proud of himself. He declared he was cleaning and showed to me what he cleaned. He wiped down the sink, the toilet, the floor, the wall, the door, and himself. Gladly I did away with dangerous cleaners because of his propensity to lick surfaces such as windows, floors, doors, couches, cats and siblings. I use a vinegar cleaner to make sure he is safe. (Not to clean the cat, naturally.) Of course he didn't get his hands on that. Nooooo. He found the air freshener I keep in the bathroom to, uh, freshen the air. He sprayed all the aforementioned surfaces, including himself, and declared he'd cleaned the bathroom as well as declaring he'd taken a bath. Giving credit where credit is due, the kid is efficient.
Not much later, after putting breakfast on the table I figure it's awfully quiet. I went searching and found nothing. No Jacoby. I spied the open gate. I ran downstairs and he has the television on and he's pointing the Wii remote at it and pushing buttons madly. He declared to me it was broken and needed batteries. Or to be turned on, but hey, why disagree with the kid? I shooed him back upstairs into the safer zone for him. I say safer because there is no Jacoby-proof room unless it's padded and empty.
At lunch time I go looking for my missing Taz and he's emptied his entire dresser onto the floor. Really not feeling well and annoyed to have to help him clean this mess up, I am one to find a silver lining. I was definetely grateful that he did not remove all the drawers from the dresser this time, entombing the cat in the stacked pile, or pull them out in a stair stacked fashion and climb to the top of them. Again.
Here's where I tell you I see a pattern fashioning. I should simply stop preparing meals for the children and Jacoby won't have reason to get into trouble. That, or tie him to a chair while I work. We do have some unused wire ties in the tool closet....
After lunch, I had to repeat myself that he should not throw his strawberries out the living room window. I do think at this point we'll have an impromptu strawberry patch out there. I had to tell him not to put his elephant out the window too, but at that point he'd figured out the elephant wouldn't fit out the window. Something about having to say that just feels wrong.
After his nap, he awoke quietly and decided to go play in Mommy's bathroom. After all, it was unlocked. I walk in there to find him with my new tube of toothpaste in one hand, a toothbrush in the other and globs of toothpaste all over the floor. I asked him what he was doing and all he said was, "Mmmmm." Apparently I should switch his toothpaste flavor. I called in Rea and Jacoby looks at his Daddy and says, pointing to the floor, "Oh! It's mess!"
I did ask my husband why he didn't lock the door and his response was that Jacoby was sleeping. I just shook my head and smiled. In any other household, that would be reasonable.
I opened my email a little while ago and saw a quote that a friend shared. It was so perfect for today that I laughed!
By Jerry Seinfeld: "A two year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it."
Amen to that!
Psalm 21:6
For You make him most blessed forever;You make him joyful with gladness in Your presence.
I've been caught under the weather due to a virus going around and it's slowed me quite a bit. Some children have compassion and keep things toned down. Then the other type see and opportunity and seize it. My little Jacoby is one of these types. Carpe Diem is a life motto for him it seems. Good qualities for him to have, I'm just aiming to survive his childhood.
I awoke this morning with a medicine induced broken fever so I was a bit sluggish going through the morning routine. Taz noticed immediately and placed his life motto into action. While I was filling cups and setting up for the morning, I missed a few components of the morning routine that are vital. I forgot to lock the bathroom and I was delayed in securing the gate on the stairs.
After finding the house rather quiet and knowing this isn't right with Jacoby awake I began that sinking feeling in my stomach. I was on immediate search duty because silence in his world isn't a matter of if he's into something but what he's into. I found him in the bathroom and he was all smiles and proud of himself. He declared he was cleaning and showed to me what he cleaned. He wiped down the sink, the toilet, the floor, the wall, the door, and himself. Gladly I did away with dangerous cleaners because of his propensity to lick surfaces such as windows, floors, doors, couches, cats and siblings. I use a vinegar cleaner to make sure he is safe. (Not to clean the cat, naturally.) Of course he didn't get his hands on that. Nooooo. He found the air freshener I keep in the bathroom to, uh, freshen the air. He sprayed all the aforementioned surfaces, including himself, and declared he'd cleaned the bathroom as well as declaring he'd taken a bath. Giving credit where credit is due, the kid is efficient.
Not much later, after putting breakfast on the table I figure it's awfully quiet. I went searching and found nothing. No Jacoby. I spied the open gate. I ran downstairs and he has the television on and he's pointing the Wii remote at it and pushing buttons madly. He declared to me it was broken and needed batteries. Or to be turned on, but hey, why disagree with the kid? I shooed him back upstairs into the safer zone for him. I say safer because there is no Jacoby-proof room unless it's padded and empty.
At lunch time I go looking for my missing Taz and he's emptied his entire dresser onto the floor. Really not feeling well and annoyed to have to help him clean this mess up, I am one to find a silver lining. I was definetely grateful that he did not remove all the drawers from the dresser this time, entombing the cat in the stacked pile, or pull them out in a stair stacked fashion and climb to the top of them. Again.
Here's where I tell you I see a pattern fashioning. I should simply stop preparing meals for the children and Jacoby won't have reason to get into trouble. That, or tie him to a chair while I work. We do have some unused wire ties in the tool closet....
After lunch, I had to repeat myself that he should not throw his strawberries out the living room window. I do think at this point we'll have an impromptu strawberry patch out there. I had to tell him not to put his elephant out the window too, but at that point he'd figured out the elephant wouldn't fit out the window. Something about having to say that just feels wrong.
After his nap, he awoke quietly and decided to go play in Mommy's bathroom. After all, it was unlocked. I walk in there to find him with my new tube of toothpaste in one hand, a toothbrush in the other and globs of toothpaste all over the floor. I asked him what he was doing and all he said was, "Mmmmm." Apparently I should switch his toothpaste flavor. I called in Rea and Jacoby looks at his Daddy and says, pointing to the floor, "Oh! It's mess!"
I did ask my husband why he didn't lock the door and his response was that Jacoby was sleeping. I just shook my head and smiled. In any other household, that would be reasonable.
I opened my email a little while ago and saw a quote that a friend shared. It was so perfect for today that I laughed!
By Jerry Seinfeld: "A two year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it."
Amen to that!
Psalm 21:6
For You make him most blessed forever;You make him joyful with gladness in Your presence.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
I'm Ready!
The other night Rea came home long enough to change his clothing and get something to drink before heading back out of the house to an appointment he needed to be at. This schedule left no Daddy-Taz play time unfortunately.
While Rea asked our oldest son if he was ready to go, my little Jacoby patiently followed behind his Daddy throughout the whole house. With a broad smile he repetitously said "I ready. I ready, Daddy. I ready."
He had no idea where Daddy was going, no idea how long he'd be gone, and no idea what would be asked of him once he got there. But he didn't care. His Daddy was going and that was all that mattered to him.
May we all maintain the simple faith of a child and answer our Lord with the same answer on our life journies.
I'm ready, Lord.
Proverbs 8:32
"So, my dear friends, listen carefully; those who embrace these my ways are most blessed. Mark a life of discipline and live wisely; don't squander your precious life. Blessed the man, blessed the woman, who listens to me, awake and ready for me each morning, alert and responsive as I start my day's work. When you find me, you find life, real life, to say nothing of God's good pleasure. But if you wrong me, you damage your very soul; when you reject me, you're flirting with death."
John 12:26
"If any of you wants to serve me, then follow me. Then you'll be where I am, ready to serve at a moment's notice. The Father will honor and reward anyone who serves me."
While Rea asked our oldest son if he was ready to go, my little Jacoby patiently followed behind his Daddy throughout the whole house. With a broad smile he repetitously said "I ready. I ready, Daddy. I ready."
He had no idea where Daddy was going, no idea how long he'd be gone, and no idea what would be asked of him once he got there. But he didn't care. His Daddy was going and that was all that mattered to him.
May we all maintain the simple faith of a child and answer our Lord with the same answer on our life journies.
I'm ready, Lord.
Proverbs 8:32
"So, my dear friends, listen carefully; those who embrace these my ways are most blessed. Mark a life of discipline and live wisely; don't squander your precious life. Blessed the man, blessed the woman, who listens to me, awake and ready for me each morning, alert and responsive as I start my day's work. When you find me, you find life, real life, to say nothing of God's good pleasure. But if you wrong me, you damage your very soul; when you reject me, you're flirting with death."
John 12:26
"If any of you wants to serve me, then follow me. Then you'll be where I am, ready to serve at a moment's notice. The Father will honor and reward anyone who serves me."
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Photo Shoot Attitude
I've decided that I was specific photos on my wall of my children and since I am very specific and uh... particular...and uh...precise about what I want, I figured why bother someone else with my vision, right? That, and I'm cheap. Do you know how expensive it is to get a group shot of 6 kids and then individuals of them and then actually purchase all that? Holy bankroll, Batman!
This is where I decided that I'm now a photographer, because it can't be that hard, right? I mean it's just a photo!
*sigh*
I was humbled in my attempts. My failures drove me to research some good pointers for novices like myself that feel they need to drive the photo shoot and want to save some poor unsuspecting photographer theheadache time.
Armed with ideas and a day that is overcast but not raining, I figured we'd get this down! I am proud to say that 5 of the children complied. Some needed some cajoling, but overall they complied. Then you have my 2 year old that doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do and lately, thinks it's hilarious to not comply with Mommy. *sigh* At least he usually giggles when being difficult so I figured it was a win-win, right? Uh, no.
Here is when I sat him on his spot and asked him to please smile for Mommy. Clearly this was a very hard request.
Of course I tried bribing him. As you can see from this picture, it wasn't good enough. He does think he's funny though. See the smile he's trying to hide?
Yeah me!!
This is where I decided that I'm now a photographer, because it can't be that hard, right? I mean it's just a photo!
*sigh*
I was humbled in my attempts. My failures drove me to research some good pointers for novices like myself that feel they need to drive the photo shoot and want to save some poor unsuspecting photographer the
Armed with ideas and a day that is overcast but not raining, I figured we'd get this down! I am proud to say that 5 of the children complied. Some needed some cajoling, but overall they complied. Then you have my 2 year old that doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do and lately, thinks it's hilarious to not comply with Mommy. *sigh* At least he usually giggles when being difficult so I figured it was a win-win, right? Uh, no.
Here is when I sat him on his spot and asked him to please smile for Mommy. Clearly this was a very hard request.
Since he didn't want to sit, I figured he could stand! He didn't want to do that, so we tickled him. Apparently that was torture too.
We continued to play games with him, and since he likes being swung around and hung upside down, I figured we could at least try it. Perhaps if he smiles upside down, I could just flip the picture, or leave it... he's an odd duck anyway. It worked and he just couldn't resist laughing. He is such a smart cookie and knew what I wanted and was absolutely determined to make sure it didn't happen. Just like any good natured 2 year old. So here's what he did:
Wait, it doesn't end there! I tried some more while on the swing. I begged. I pleaded. I tried tricking him. *sigh*
May Mommy please take a picture with you smiling in it? At this point I'm aware that the background is too busy and I can't use this for my wall, but it's the point of getting a smiling picture now.
No is what he said:
Of course I tried bribing him. As you can see from this picture, it wasn't good enough. He does think he's funny though. See the smile he's trying to hide?
I'm a pretty funny Mommy so I got him to smile, but because he couldn't resist me he made sure he didn't look at me.
He finally complied. I won! WOOOHOO! Of course I still don't have one usable for my wall, but I won him over!
Yeah me!!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Happy April Fool's Day!
While my mother in law was inside working, we filled her vehicle with balloons. You would be surprised by the number of people that stopped by to speak with us about what we were doing and the equally large amount of people that drove by laughing and pointing at us and the car.
So, while inside working, my mother in law hears all sorts of people talking about the car full of balloons out in the parking lot. The employees start talking about it and share laughs and my mother in law mentions that she can't imagine who would do such a thing to someone they knew!
Imagine her surprise when she walked out of work that evening!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Last week I was done in by a 2 year old, and 18 inch box and a rocking chair. My husband and 16 year old son found the humor in this immediately, of course.
Two days prior to the rocking chair incident, I dropped a knife. Don't worry, no one was around me, but I had forgotten to move my foot. It didn't stick in my foot very long, but for the short time it was there, it left quite the bruise and spotted my sock red. Great. More difficult laundry. Just what I need.
The knife happened to land right on the inner edge of my big toe, so I walked a smidge funny. Just a smidge, mind you.
While moving to the television to turn on cartoons, my 2 year old was quite literally hanging on my left leg screaming to be held. He wanted to be held while watching cartoons so of course I had to push all the buttons first. After setting that up, I turned around and my Velcro Buddy didn't even budge off my leg! This kid is a natural for rock climbing. Or perhaps it's his inner Monkey that allows him to cling that well? He reminds me of those stuffed toys that have velcro hands that hook together and are hard to break apart!
As I was walking away from the television, my right foot tripped over a box that was leaning against the railing but had been knocked down earlier by aforementioned Velcro Buddy. I tried to catch myself with my left foot only to be reminded that my leg doesn't move quite as fast with an extra 32 pounds clinging to it. You're surprised by that, aren't you? Yeah, I was too.
As I was falling, I was aware that squashing my Velcro Buddy wasn't an option so I reached out to catch myself on the nearest object, my wooden rocking chair. This would have been an awesome reaction had my wooden rocking chair not been a lightweight. My chair decided to help do me in and fell over sideways with me. How rude, right?
As my hand pushed down on the arm of the rocking chair, my body was still falling forward and my head was inching toward the chair seat. This of course lined my head up right under the other arm of the rocker. Ornery rocking chair decided it was a good day for a challenge and raced me to the floor. Normally I'm game for a good race, but this was a bit unfair. Unfair mainly because I lost. The chair won fair and square but not before the other arm of the chair smacked me in the head first. Hard. This was quite unexpected. You're surprised again, aren't you? Yeah, I was too!
I was only out for a second or two, honest! I remember being hit and thinking just how much my head hurt. Then I remember opening my eyes and seeing the floor and the rocker arm under me. Of course my Velcro buddy had become unstuck and was screaming over me demanding to know if I was alright. I slowly sat up and hugged my little guy and reassured him I was defintely ok. He clearly had doubts as he kept asking that same loud question over and over again.
This is where I tell you that I'm not sure I was ok. My head was really fuzzy, I couldn't hold a thought in my head and I was horribly sleepy. I collected my teens to help see to the needs of my littles as I slowly came out of my stupor. I was thinking clearly in about 3 hours, but I had a massive headache for 2 days and I am not referring to my dishonorable rocking chair or my Velcro buddy!
My loving husband wanted to know why I didn't call him and let us work on a way to get me to the hospital. Really? You would not believe the teasing I've had from "stabbing myself" and then "knocking myself out with a rocking chair". Do you really think I'd go to the hospital and have my head examined? No, of course not. I'd never live that down!
The Lord sustains all who fall and raises up all who are bowed down.
Psalm 145:14
Two days prior to the rocking chair incident, I dropped a knife. Don't worry, no one was around me, but I had forgotten to move my foot. It didn't stick in my foot very long, but for the short time it was there, it left quite the bruise and spotted my sock red. Great. More difficult laundry. Just what I need.
The knife happened to land right on the inner edge of my big toe, so I walked a smidge funny. Just a smidge, mind you.
While moving to the television to turn on cartoons, my 2 year old was quite literally hanging on my left leg screaming to be held. He wanted to be held while watching cartoons so of course I had to push all the buttons first. After setting that up, I turned around and my Velcro Buddy didn't even budge off my leg! This kid is a natural for rock climbing. Or perhaps it's his inner Monkey that allows him to cling that well? He reminds me of those stuffed toys that have velcro hands that hook together and are hard to break apart!
As I was walking away from the television, my right foot tripped over a box that was leaning against the railing but had been knocked down earlier by aforementioned Velcro Buddy. I tried to catch myself with my left foot only to be reminded that my leg doesn't move quite as fast with an extra 32 pounds clinging to it. You're surprised by that, aren't you? Yeah, I was too.
As I was falling, I was aware that squashing my Velcro Buddy wasn't an option so I reached out to catch myself on the nearest object, my wooden rocking chair. This would have been an awesome reaction had my wooden rocking chair not been a lightweight. My chair decided to help do me in and fell over sideways with me. How rude, right?
As my hand pushed down on the arm of the rocking chair, my body was still falling forward and my head was inching toward the chair seat. This of course lined my head up right under the other arm of the rocker. Ornery rocking chair decided it was a good day for a challenge and raced me to the floor. Normally I'm game for a good race, but this was a bit unfair. Unfair mainly because I lost. The chair won fair and square but not before the other arm of the chair smacked me in the head first. Hard. This was quite unexpected. You're surprised again, aren't you? Yeah, I was too!
I was only out for a second or two, honest! I remember being hit and thinking just how much my head hurt. Then I remember opening my eyes and seeing the floor and the rocker arm under me. Of course my Velcro buddy had become unstuck and was screaming over me demanding to know if I was alright. I slowly sat up and hugged my little guy and reassured him I was defintely ok. He clearly had doubts as he kept asking that same loud question over and over again.
This is where I tell you that I'm not sure I was ok. My head was really fuzzy, I couldn't hold a thought in my head and I was horribly sleepy. I collected my teens to help see to the needs of my littles as I slowly came out of my stupor. I was thinking clearly in about 3 hours, but I had a massive headache for 2 days and I am not referring to my dishonorable rocking chair or my Velcro buddy!
My loving husband wanted to know why I didn't call him and let us work on a way to get me to the hospital. Really? You would not believe the teasing I've had from "stabbing myself" and then "knocking myself out with a rocking chair". Do you really think I'd go to the hospital and have my head examined? No, of course not. I'd never live that down!
The Lord sustains all who fall and raises up all who are bowed down.
Psalm 145:14
It's on, Buddy!
My two year old.... no, one of my two year olds has quite a reputation and he gains himself quite a few nicknames. On several occassions I have referred to him as Houdini. There are ways that I try to contain him, but he manages to overcome them. We're working on self control and discipline and obeying, but he's two. All of my two year olds before him were much more well-behaved than he is. I do have to admit none of them were as much fun as he is. Am I supposed to be this amused by his mischief?
We have a wooden gate that has metal hardware attaching it to the top of our stairway. He's not only clumsy and can't be trusted to stay upright on the stairs, but he's a mischief-maker and can't be trusted in an area that is overloaded with big kid stuff and gadgets. So we have this gate that is truly worth it's weight in gold and has upheld all of our expectations and then some. Of course, no gate-maker could anticipate a Mini-Moose hanging on it, shaking it, and all around abusing it, particularly when Daddy would come through the front door and he'd scream in delight and shake the gate so hard you could hear it downstairs. This led to the hardware falling out and being replaced twice. Finally, the wall gave and the hardware came out again, taking our wall with it. I'm serious here, people. What's a Dad to do?
My brilliant husband applied two very unasthetic-pleasing boards to the wall and anchored them in each corner where there are studs holding said boards in place. Mini-Moose or not, those suckers aren't budging. We're a few months into the use of the boards on the wall holding the gate and it's true, it has not budged. Of course the other day we saw one of the spindles in the gate bent out as if some kind of someone was trying to push their way through. *sigh* It's currently working but that gate has seen better days.
On the same hand, my Taz has figured out how to open doors. It really took him quite a while to figure out door handles but he persistently kept working at it and mastered it quite well. We now have loop locks high on all our doors to keep him out of where he shouldn't go, like the closet. Here's where I mention that he has a blue vacuum that is very lightweight and we used to let him vacuum away to his heart's delight. He likes to climb into the closet, hug his blue buddy and close the door. Then he knocks on the inside of the closet door waiting for you to open it so he can smile and say, "Hi!". It is unecessary for me to explain why this game can only take place while highly supervised.
My smart little guy has figured that if he jiggles and shakes the door just the right way, he can pop the hook lock and get in. I'm sure you can imagine just how pleased he is when he reaches any forbidden destination. Added to our list of doors that need to be watched is the bathroom door. He's found he really likes to play in the sink, repeatedly flush the toilet, lick every toothbrush, and unravel the toilet paper. Once he unraveled the toilet paper into the bowl, and having been a Mom for a bit, I knew his new found fascination with the bowl would not end with just paper but other items as well, such as the action figure we had to CUT out of our toilet water line about 6 years ago. Oh yeah. Fun stuff.
So my husband tells my son last night that he's not sure what's worse; the fact that there is a mini screwdriver taped to the bathroom door, or the fact that he doesn't even need to ask why. This is where I tell you that we use the mini screwdriver to unlock the bathroom door that we lock behind us as we leave the bathroom. No jiggling that handle, buddy. Ha!!
And those heavy, professional building doors that have long silver handles? Houdini was at the doctor's office yesterday, told me "bye bye!", pushed on the door and started running down the hallway. He was clearly done, and I don't blame him.
Seems I should use his Monkey leash on him more often.
I have seen that nothing is better than that man should be happy in his activities, for that is his lot. For who will bring him to see what will occur after him? Ecclesiastes 3:22
We have a wooden gate that has metal hardware attaching it to the top of our stairway. He's not only clumsy and can't be trusted to stay upright on the stairs, but he's a mischief-maker and can't be trusted in an area that is overloaded with big kid stuff and gadgets. So we have this gate that is truly worth it's weight in gold and has upheld all of our expectations and then some. Of course, no gate-maker could anticipate a Mini-Moose hanging on it, shaking it, and all around abusing it, particularly when Daddy would come through the front door and he'd scream in delight and shake the gate so hard you could hear it downstairs. This led to the hardware falling out and being replaced twice. Finally, the wall gave and the hardware came out again, taking our wall with it. I'm serious here, people. What's a Dad to do?
My brilliant husband applied two very unasthetic-pleasing boards to the wall and anchored them in each corner where there are studs holding said boards in place. Mini-Moose or not, those suckers aren't budging. We're a few months into the use of the boards on the wall holding the gate and it's true, it has not budged. Of course the other day we saw one of the spindles in the gate bent out as if some kind of someone was trying to push their way through. *sigh* It's currently working but that gate has seen better days.
On the same hand, my Taz has figured out how to open doors. It really took him quite a while to figure out door handles but he persistently kept working at it and mastered it quite well. We now have loop locks high on all our doors to keep him out of where he shouldn't go, like the closet. Here's where I mention that he has a blue vacuum that is very lightweight and we used to let him vacuum away to his heart's delight. He likes to climb into the closet, hug his blue buddy and close the door. Then he knocks on the inside of the closet door waiting for you to open it so he can smile and say, "Hi!". It is unecessary for me to explain why this game can only take place while highly supervised.
My smart little guy has figured that if he jiggles and shakes the door just the right way, he can pop the hook lock and get in. I'm sure you can imagine just how pleased he is when he reaches any forbidden destination. Added to our list of doors that need to be watched is the bathroom door. He's found he really likes to play in the sink, repeatedly flush the toilet, lick every toothbrush, and unravel the toilet paper. Once he unraveled the toilet paper into the bowl, and having been a Mom for a bit, I knew his new found fascination with the bowl would not end with just paper but other items as well, such as the action figure we had to CUT out of our toilet water line about 6 years ago. Oh yeah. Fun stuff.
So my husband tells my son last night that he's not sure what's worse; the fact that there is a mini screwdriver taped to the bathroom door, or the fact that he doesn't even need to ask why. This is where I tell you that we use the mini screwdriver to unlock the bathroom door that we lock behind us as we leave the bathroom. No jiggling that handle, buddy. Ha!!
And those heavy, professional building doors that have long silver handles? Houdini was at the doctor's office yesterday, told me "bye bye!", pushed on the door and started running down the hallway. He was clearly done, and I don't blame him.
Seems I should use his Monkey leash on him more often.
I have seen that nothing is better than that man should be happy in his activities, for that is his lot. For who will bring him to see what will occur after him? Ecclesiastes 3:22
Friday, March 25, 2011
Miracle-versary!
Today is one year. Three hundred, sixty-five days since we witnessed the move of the Lord in the life of someone our family loves dearly, which means He answered our prayers and has moved in our lives. It was an emotional journey that has taught us much about the Lord and His faithfulness.
Our church worship team sings a song that has two verses, "He will bring joy to all your sorrows" and "He will make a way where there is no way." This song was sang in praise to the Lord one year ago, yesterday, as we were interceding for the very life of our loved one. It was His will that we would be faithful and pray without ceasing and fast faithfully, and it was ultimately His will to answer our prayer as He saw fit in a way we could never have imagined. The tough part of the journey was ultimately submitting graciously to the Lord's will, whatever that would be, and accepting what He wants and brings to us as well as those we love. It's hard when you think you know what the right thing is but you are uncertain what the story is that the Lord is writing in your life as well as someone else's. It's hard when you look at the circumstances around you and they look very bleak or flat out impossible. It's hard when you hear the words of those that are in a worldly authority speak a dark view. This was a time for us when we were sitting in a boat and we asked for the impossible - we asked for the Lord to allow us to walk on water. To do that, you can't look at the waves around you, the sharks under you. You can't listen to the wind screaming in your ears, pushing you to sit back down. You have to keep your eyes on the Lord at all times, without giving up hope or faith. What a hard lesson to learn and walk through.
Isaiah 55:8-9
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."
A year ago yesterday, I made preparations to lose someone I loved very dearly. I did so because if that was the Lord's will for all of us, though it would hurt and our hearts would bleed, I knew the Lord is the only one who could still bring us through and heal those wounds in us. I knew no experience in our lives would be wasted "and we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) So whatever His thoughts, His ways, they are always for our good. This is a truth we held to and we were prepared with vulnerable hearts to receive what the Lord knew was right for all the people involved. Your will, Lord, not ours. Yet we hope and pray and watch.
Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders which You have done, and Your thoughts toward us; There is none to compare with You If I would declare and speak of them, they would be too numerous to count. Psalm 40:5
What is especially glorious is when you pray for the Lord's intervention and not only does He bring what you are asking for, but He brings it in a way that you could never have imagined. And to first hand witness a heavenly sent, how-did-that-happen miracle with our very own eyes! To say God is just so good is a grand understatement!
We will not conceal them from their children,But tell to the generation to come the praises of the LORD,And His strength and His wondrous works that He has done. Psalm 78:4
For You, O LORD, have made me glad by what You have done,I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands. Psalm 92:4
And let them know that this is Your hand; You, LORD, have done it. Psalm 109:27
That they may see and recognize, and consider and gain insight as well, that the hand of the LORD has done this, and the Holy One of Israel has created it. Isaiah 41:20
Our church worship team sings a song that has two verses, "He will bring joy to all your sorrows" and "He will make a way where there is no way." This song was sang in praise to the Lord one year ago, yesterday, as we were interceding for the very life of our loved one. It was His will that we would be faithful and pray without ceasing and fast faithfully, and it was ultimately His will to answer our prayer as He saw fit in a way we could never have imagined. The tough part of the journey was ultimately submitting graciously to the Lord's will, whatever that would be, and accepting what He wants and brings to us as well as those we love. It's hard when you think you know what the right thing is but you are uncertain what the story is that the Lord is writing in your life as well as someone else's. It's hard when you look at the circumstances around you and they look very bleak or flat out impossible. It's hard when you hear the words of those that are in a worldly authority speak a dark view. This was a time for us when we were sitting in a boat and we asked for the impossible - we asked for the Lord to allow us to walk on water. To do that, you can't look at the waves around you, the sharks under you. You can't listen to the wind screaming in your ears, pushing you to sit back down. You have to keep your eyes on the Lord at all times, without giving up hope or faith. What a hard lesson to learn and walk through.
Isaiah 55:8-9
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."
A year ago yesterday, I made preparations to lose someone I loved very dearly. I did so because if that was the Lord's will for all of us, though it would hurt and our hearts would bleed, I knew the Lord is the only one who could still bring us through and heal those wounds in us. I knew no experience in our lives would be wasted "and we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) So whatever His thoughts, His ways, they are always for our good. This is a truth we held to and we were prepared with vulnerable hearts to receive what the Lord knew was right for all the people involved. Your will, Lord, not ours. Yet we hope and pray and watch.
Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders which You have done, and Your thoughts toward us; There is none to compare with You If I would declare and speak of them, they would be too numerous to count. Psalm 40:5
What is especially glorious is when you pray for the Lord's intervention and not only does He bring what you are asking for, but He brings it in a way that you could never have imagined. And to first hand witness a heavenly sent, how-did-that-happen miracle with our very own eyes! To say God is just so good is a grand understatement!
We will not conceal them from their children,But tell to the generation to come the praises of the LORD,And His strength and His wondrous works that He has done. Psalm 78:4
For You, O LORD, have made me glad by what You have done,I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands. Psalm 92:4
And let them know that this is Your hand; You, LORD, have done it. Psalm 109:27
That they may see and recognize, and consider and gain insight as well, that the hand of the LORD has done this, and the Holy One of Israel has created it. Isaiah 41:20
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Laundry and Laughter
We got backed up in laundry. I just can’t imagine why. See me rolling my eyes right here. I tell you what though, I’m sure it’s not my fault. I’ve tried explaining to the children that we need to conserve and perhaps wear our clothes for two or three days before washing, but only one out of the six will comply. I really need to work on their expectations. They want clean clothes every day, and they want to eat 3 or 4 times a day. Can you believe their greediness? It’s seriously ridiculous, but they just won’t budge on their excessive demandingness. *sigh* What’s a Mom to do?
So we have stacking bins that the laundry goes in (stolen organization idea from a friend years ago) but the bins were full. Being backed up, the excess laundry found it’s way to the floor. I’m sure that’s never happened to anyone else. Why do these children insist on all this clothing and burying me in it? I’m thinking fig leaves would be so much easier to clean. Wipe ‘em down and move on. You know? Maybe laminate them so they last longer.
So while I was working diligently to reduce our dirty laundry, I find the bottom of the clothes are soaked. SOAKED. Fantastic. So we spent a large portion of time completely emptying the room of all items to find a lower portion of a movable wall is moldy. Fun. Luckily, the movable wall is well, movable. So out it went. But there is this blue/black stuff all over the floor and all goopy since it’s wet.
After some sleuth work, I find that when I turn the washing machine on, the water leaks out the bottom of the washer, onto the floor where the clothes were absorbing the water. And, some of the laundry was a bit sour from being wet. Great.
After moving the dryer, I found the air vent for it had crumbled. The dryer lint (blue/black in color) had been blowing all over the floor, behind and under, the washer and dryer and then it got wet from the leaking washer. Joy, joy, joy.
So here I have a lot of clothes/blankets/whatevers that are soaked and can’t stay that way so a late hour run to the laundromat provided clean fabrics before they were ruined. Although that chore really isn’t any fun, it was satisfying to have all... yes I said ALL.... the laundry in the house clean and done. I’m giddy with that. Seriously. To keep my happy disposition over the laundry I think I’m going to ration the clothing to the clothing gremlins and insist they wear one outfit a week. Oh wait. That will not work with my poop flinger aka Taz. Hmmm. Guess I’ll invest in more detergent and decorate the laundry room since I’m in there so often.
So, while at the laundromat with Krista-rella, this Mom comes in with her three adorable little ones. They come in laughing and giggling and chasing each other and having a straight out, grand old time. I look at Krista and we both smile and I commented that I didn’t know laundry was that much fun. On that note, perhaps if while doing laundry here at home, if I chase and run and giggle with some of the kids it won’t seem like so much work. I’ll give that a shot.
Anyway, back to the side story, we are there with these cherubs that are having a great time and Mom started yelling at them. Little boy 1 and Little boy 2 sat down while Little girl took a smidge longer to sit as she felt she should help load the washer. Did I mention these kids were adorable? Mom tells Little girl to go sit down and the three little imps all sit for a record of 3 seconds. I love it.
They are then up again and giggling and pushing the clothing cart around. Little boy 2 runs into me with the cart, so I smiled at him, patted him on the head, brushed his cheek with my hand and gained myself a huge, eye twinkling grin for it. The little heartbreaker. Stressed Mom grabs him by the arm and yells for him to go sit down. I smiled at the frazzled Mama and told her it was ok, he meant no harm and that I have little ones at home running around so this just makes me feel at home!
At this time Little girl and Little boy 1 were racing with one cart, spinning in circles. I’m thinking how much fun that looked if I could only fit in one of those things. Mom screams for them to sit down, grabs Little girl by the arm and says we’re going to “talk”. Little girl is pleading, “Please Mama, no!” They move aside, discuss what will happen if she doesn’t guard her backside by staying in the chair and off Little girl goes to her designated resting place.
So why do I share this story? Mamas out there! Hear me! Let your children laugh. It does NOT offend people, and if it does, they have the issue. We were not in a courthouse, but a laundromat! Those children were lovely and joyful and I loved every minute of it. I know responsibilities can be heavy and little ones running in and out of your feet can be tiring. Please, please, please don’t squash the very treasure you have before you. That laundry will crumble and fade away. Invest your energy in those precious babies. Let them laugh. Learn a lesson and laugh with them. Learn to have fun again. You’ll regret it when they are grown if you do not.
Ok, back to my original story. After emptying, mopping, bleaching, and cleaning the room it’s looking good and our new dryer vent was installed last night. Our new washing machine is due to be delivered tomorrow.
Things are looking cleaned up!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Soaking up Perspective
When I look at something I've seen many times and see it differently, I tend to think I'm seeing that "something" in a new perspective, a new light, if you will. I had not given this much thought until my four year old brought me a new perspective.
While driving the other night we drove past a McDonald's. My four year old and I have this conversation:
Nick: "Hey, Mommy! Look! It's a McDonald's!".
Me: "Yep, sure is buddy."
There is a pause while he's in deep thought. Know how sometimes you can just hear them thinking?
Nick: "That's so 'mazin'!" ("it's amazing", for those that don't speak Munchkin fluently).
Nick: "That's just so cool!"
My response here was to laugh. I've thought a lot of things concerning that certain restaurant over my lifetime, but amazing was honestly never on my list of adjectives to use. It didn't take much brain power to see from his perspective why that place is just so amazing to him. Here's where I have to throw in that he was deathly afraid of parks and jungle gyms when he came to live with us 10 months ago. Our family has taught him a new phrase; "Have fun!". While learning what fun is, I have to admit that certain indoor playgrounds have been used in our lessons on how to just be a little kid and have fun.
My thoughts then turned to my surprise at his use of the word 'amazing'. I was shocked he knew it! When he moved in with us 10 months ago he was stringing together 2 and three words but he was mostly incomprehensible and used baby jargon along with 3-alarm screaming fits to make himself understood. So then I was thinking about how he'd have heard the word and it hit me straight on. A week earlier when the weather had been simply beautiful we had all gone outside to play in the backyard. Lia and I started pulling grass out from in between the stone on the pathway. Just so you know, yes we were actually having fun doing that. We raced each other and pulled harder and laughed. Nick noticed the fun we were having (I'm not kidding here...) and wanted to join in. Can anyone say Tom Sawyer here? Who needs a white washed fence when grass pulling will serve the same duty? Sometimes I feel so smart. I'm really not. This was a total accident, but I'll take credit just the same, ok?
I eventually started pulling less and less grass as I was still keeping an eye on my 2 two-year-olds too and so Lia took over as director of the grass pulling adventure. While she pulled, she showed Nick how to work effectively and encouraged the whole time! I was so blessed to hear her speak to him. "Good job, Nick!", "You are so good at this!", "What a great worker you are!", "I'm so glad you're helping me, you are amazing!"
Uh huh. Amazing. She told him he was good. She told him he was amazing. He in turn understood and soaked it all up and reused it.
So here is where my thoughts went with this. Do our words that we choose to say and our thoughts we choose to think and the people we spend time with and their words said between us, does this soak into us and make up our perspective on everything and anything?
What am I hearing? What am I saying? What am I reading?
While driving the other night we drove past a McDonald's. My four year old and I have this conversation:
Nick: "Hey, Mommy! Look! It's a McDonald's!".
Me: "Yep, sure is buddy."
There is a pause while he's in deep thought. Know how sometimes you can just hear them thinking?
Nick: "That's so 'mazin'!" ("it's amazing", for those that don't speak Munchkin fluently).
Nick: "That's just so cool!"
My response here was to laugh. I've thought a lot of things concerning that certain restaurant over my lifetime, but amazing was honestly never on my list of adjectives to use. It didn't take much brain power to see from his perspective why that place is just so amazing to him. Here's where I have to throw in that he was deathly afraid of parks and jungle gyms when he came to live with us 10 months ago. Our family has taught him a new phrase; "Have fun!". While learning what fun is, I have to admit that certain indoor playgrounds have been used in our lessons on how to just be a little kid and have fun.
My thoughts then turned to my surprise at his use of the word 'amazing'. I was shocked he knew it! When he moved in with us 10 months ago he was stringing together 2 and three words but he was mostly incomprehensible and used baby jargon along with 3-alarm screaming fits to make himself understood. So then I was thinking about how he'd have heard the word and it hit me straight on. A week earlier when the weather had been simply beautiful we had all gone outside to play in the backyard. Lia and I started pulling grass out from in between the stone on the pathway. Just so you know, yes we were actually having fun doing that. We raced each other and pulled harder and laughed. Nick noticed the fun we were having (I'm not kidding here...) and wanted to join in. Can anyone say Tom Sawyer here? Who needs a white washed fence when grass pulling will serve the same duty? Sometimes I feel so smart. I'm really not. This was a total accident, but I'll take credit just the same, ok?
I eventually started pulling less and less grass as I was still keeping an eye on my 2 two-year-olds too and so Lia took over as director of the grass pulling adventure. While she pulled, she showed Nick how to work effectively and encouraged the whole time! I was so blessed to hear her speak to him. "Good job, Nick!", "You are so good at this!", "What a great worker you are!", "I'm so glad you're helping me, you are amazing!"
Uh huh. Amazing. She told him he was good. She told him he was amazing. He in turn understood and soaked it all up and reused it.
So here is where my thoughts went with this. Do our words that we choose to say and our thoughts we choose to think and the people we spend time with and their words said between us, does this soak into us and make up our perspective on everything and anything?
What am I hearing? What am I saying? What am I reading?
Psalm 126:2 Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them."
Amen to that!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Sixteen!
My son is 16 today. As we approached this day, I felt good about it. Then yesterday I was asked "Wow. How do you feel about having a sixteen year old?". Well, I've reflected more on the years I've shared with him, but honestly I still feel good about it. Perhaps it's because there are still toddlers in the home so "empty nest" isn't due to set in for many, many years. Maybe I'm okay with it because he's a good kid and I'm excited to see him grow up. I remember looking at him as a newborn and wondering what kind of a person he'd be at one, and five and fifteen and thirty; wondering what kind of a Mom I would be; wanting the very best for him and wondering if I could do that, bring that, to him. He is my first and he made me a Mom. It just doesn't seem like sixteen years ago. It really doesn't. I know kids grow fast, but I didn't know it was at lightning speed.
I was in a store last night and I was buying birthday plates and such and the young cashier asked if we had a birthday coming up. I proudly told her yes, we did! My son will be sixteen tomorrow! She smiled big and without hesitation said, "Oh, that's great! Is he getting a new car?" I took a momentary second to register shock at the question and then laughed whole-heartedly. She joined in laughing with me and I told her "No, he will not be getting a new car. He will be receiving pizza and hot wings." We laughed some more and the incredulity of today's youth's entitlement attitude hit me. While the clerk was still laughing, I stopped, smiled, and said "No, we don't believe in a free ride. If he wants a car of his own, he'll get a job."
Many years ago as a young Mom I used to tell him that we weren't saving for his college education, we were saving for his therapy. As he gets older, I'm thinking he may not need that therapy. I see that as success! Do you think it's because he's not getting a new car for his 16th birthday?
Happy Birthday Rejean!
Psalm 127:3 "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him."
I was in a store last night and I was buying birthday plates and such and the young cashier asked if we had a birthday coming up. I proudly told her yes, we did! My son will be sixteen tomorrow! She smiled big and without hesitation said, "Oh, that's great! Is he getting a new car?" I took a momentary second to register shock at the question and then laughed whole-heartedly. She joined in laughing with me and I told her "No, he will not be getting a new car. He will be receiving pizza and hot wings." We laughed some more and the incredulity of today's youth's entitlement attitude hit me. While the clerk was still laughing, I stopped, smiled, and said "No, we don't believe in a free ride. If he wants a car of his own, he'll get a job."
Many years ago as a young Mom I used to tell him that we weren't saving for his college education, we were saving for his therapy. As he gets older, I'm thinking he may not need that therapy. I see that as success! Do you think it's because he's not getting a new car for his 16th birthday?
Happy Birthday Rejean!
Psalm 127:3 "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him."
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Gifts of Love
One of my two favorite daughters received a teeny tiny kitten for her 10th birthday. He wasn't the intended gift, but Lia took pity on the poor undernourished thing and had to have him. Saving things is in her nature, much like her Daddy. I adore both of them for their mutual desire to wear a big red cape.
This afternoon, she told me that she didn't think the vest was a big hit with Nip (yes, I held my laughter. Aren't you proud?) and so she made him a bed instead with some fabric that was his very favorite. Yes, she said that to me. She made a bed, a blanket, and a pillow.
Let me remind you that this is the same girl that cries over a dead mouse and believe me, there's no pity in this Mama's heart for that. Safe to say she knew who would pity those tears that flow so freely and so Daddy brought home this wonderful gray gift along with our daughter one afternoon.
This ball of gray fur was named "Nip" and he has been a very treasured friend for my sweet, precious daughter. She has spent hours and hours loving on him, and in return, the Lord has blessed her endlessly with a devoted pet that follows her everywhere.
In all this sweetness, here's what I've learned. I've read many books on relationships and child-rearing and what have you, but I tend to take what I can use/agree with and I dump the rest of the information. Years and years ago I had read the "5 Love Languages" for children. I cannot remember specifics, but I do know children need all five items in their lives to grow but eventually one or two will stand out as they become older. I've watched for those things and try to implement them to each child specifically that speaks love to them personally if I've noticed something.
Here's where Nip comes into this picture. It's obvious that he is a very treasured love for Lia, and in that love she feels, she wants to gift him. Continuously. I've now taken note and I will keep it in mind. Now it makes sense as she's always gifting her friends with handmade items as well. And she treasures anything I make for her too. Little items I buy spontaneously at the store will prompt a thank you for three days. When her Daddy traveled, he would buy her a stuffed cat; a different one each time he went away. She adamantly refuses to reduce the number of stuffed animals she has because they are from Daddy. Gifts. Lia speaks and hears with gifts.
So, back to Nip. She's made handmade toys for him. Nip has dutifully played with them. She has made handmade necklaces and collars. She's handmade hats for him. I assure you, this cat has sat through these gifts and blinked at my daughter with kitty cat adoration in his eyes and purred while she decorated him. I'm in awe over that, but I am serious. I've seen that with my own eyes.
So last night, the family is watching a movie and I ask Krista, "Where's Lia?". Krista laughs and says she saw Lia downstairs with some fabric and Nip and she's making him an outfit. An unsympathetic "You're kidding!" escaped my lips and then we all broke out laughing. We laugh because we can all picture this. My precious girl and her gifts. To further confirm the happenings downstairs, I see a fast paced Nip run up the stairs and head down to my bedroom. I guess that cat has grown some sort of self respect.
Shortly after, I see a bright eyed Lia come upstairs and ask if I've seen Nip. We all again laugh and I let her know he was hiding from her. She emphatically declared he wouldn't do that and he was just purring a minute ago and he needed to try on her gift. With much amusement, I had to see her gift on Nip too. Let me extend my apologies to you now that I did not get a photo of it. I wish I had. It was hilarious.
She made him a wonderfully built blue vest that was fully decked out with pom poms and trim. When she put it on him, he did not look at her with adoration in his kitty eyes. I do think he glared a little, and then fell over. Lia put him on his feet and he slinked away. I think he was trying to get away while the getting was good. She laughed and declared he was tired.
This afternoon, she told me that she didn't think the vest was a big hit with Nip (yes, I held my laughter. Aren't you proud?) and so she made him a bed instead with some fabric that was his very favorite. Yes, she said that to me. She made a bed, a blanket, and a pillow.
I asked her if Nip liked it and she said he loved it and was in it earlier. I said I'd like to take a picture and she thought that was great and ran to get him. We placed him in the bed and he ran away. This above photo was taken as he ran. Notice he ran so fast I didn't even catch any fuzzy gray tail in the photo. Impressive.
So Lia went and gathered her love and we tried again.
Know what she said to me when this picture was taken and I showed her? She told me that Nip didn't look happy because he was under pressure to perform for the camera and that makes him nervous. I only smiled in understanding.
Do you think love really is blind?
1 Corinthians 13:13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Our Story
My story. Your story. His story; her story. Isn't that what we are all living? I pray for those I love, yet I'm constantly returning to the realization that when circumstances don't look like what I think they should look like or people don't make decisions I think they should make that it is the LORD that writes our story. We certainly get a say in some stuff, but for those that have surrendered their lives to God, our story is not only something personal, but something to be anticipated. To be watched for. The activity of God in our lives, the waiting for what comes next, the watching for the next adventure.
My family came to call "detours" in our self made plans "adventures". We started this while on vacation. Nothing could go wrong, we just claimed we had another "adventure"! Anything goes, and we were waiting and watching for how the "adventure" would end and we would have another wonderful story to tell and revisit a few years from now. The children caught onto the game very quickly and before we knew it, everyone was expectantly watching to see what would happen in any given "adventure"!
I like that attitude. I like watching for the Lord and always seeing Him in our lives. My life. My story. Where will my story go? What will each of my children's stories say? My other loved ones? Our lives are intertwined; our stories are currently intertwined on a daily basis. We each have friends that are a part and we are blessed because of them. Blessed to have them. Blessed to have each other.
I am given a wonderful gift each and every morning. I have the opportunity to be a wife to my husband and a mother to my children. I am asked to be a sister in Christ and a friend. I am wanted in their lives and they are wanted in mine. The Lord has asked me to love my husband and children on a daily basis. To be with them and to be a part of their story. As very young children, us parents are central to our children's Life Story, but as they grow into their own calling our portion becomes smaller. I pray as my portion becomes smaller, that the gap would be filled with the Lord; that His portion would become larger and fill their hearts and minds.
There are people that enter my life, my story, for a small amount of time and others enter for an extended stay and yet others that are a central thread to the majority of my life. No matter the time frame, I know that our shared time together should mutually write something encouraging. This is right. Ephesians 5:19 and Colossians 3:16 tells us to speak to each other with the message of Christ between us.
I know that daily as we pass strangers there is something to be gained and learned and given. But that is not what I speak of today. I ponder and think on when someone you deeply love is waiting; waiting on so many things, to make sure their life is better and in some cases to make sure their life story does not become a short essay. Sometimes it's smaller issues and sometimes it's very big ones, and everything in between. What can you do? What can I do? I have been asked to be a part of many people's lives. I take that as an honor. I do not receive that lightly, and I'm careful with it. What happens when the path their life is taking is out of your hands and the decisions concerning them lie with someone else or in their own immature hands? What happens if your chapter in their life is almost over? What if it is not? Should I worry about such things? NO. Matthew 6:24-27 speaks first about serving two masters and then says therefore do not worry. It speaks about life being more than food and clothes and then asks if you can add even one hour to your life by worrying. What spoke to me was the admonishment about serving two masters and then the directive to not worry. Seems to me worrying serves the wrong master.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord (Isaiah 55:8). 1 John 5:18-20 speaks about the world being evil, but those that are in Christ are safe and kept safe in Him and that HE is the true God and eternal life. Does that mean being in Christ means nothing bad ever happens? No, again. Psalm 59:16 says, "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble." I wish my first reaction...yes, I know I should not react to circumstances but discern them and choose to act and I know it's a problem and I am working on it...but sometimes my reaction to things is not to run to God and rest in His strength and allow him to be my fortress and comfort and refuge in times of trouble or perceived trouble. Today I held out my arms to my distressed 2 year old to offer comfort and consolation and he stomped his feet and cried harder, angry that he did not get his way, and refused my comfort and my strength. It hit me hard. Oh Lord, forgive me. I've done that to You. Teach me to be a trusting, faithful daughter.
So where have I gone with all of these thoughts? Those I love, those God loves more, have a path to walk; a story the Lord is writing. I've been asked to be a part of their lives and I pray for them and then I leave their story to God. He is faithful. He is good. Jeremiah 29:11 says He has good plans for us; plans for a future and with hope! What better hands can I leave my loved ones in?
He is the perfecter and finisher of our faith and sometimes, well a lot of times, we are asked to walk in faith in order to stretch it in a very personal way. Walking in faith means trusting the One who truly is in control of the eternal pen.
Lord, I sing of your strength and I sing of your love. Let my words reflect that.
My family came to call "detours" in our self made plans "adventures". We started this while on vacation. Nothing could go wrong, we just claimed we had another "adventure"! Anything goes, and we were waiting and watching for how the "adventure" would end and we would have another wonderful story to tell and revisit a few years from now. The children caught onto the game very quickly and before we knew it, everyone was expectantly watching to see what would happen in any given "adventure"!
I like that attitude. I like watching for the Lord and always seeing Him in our lives. My life. My story. Where will my story go? What will each of my children's stories say? My other loved ones? Our lives are intertwined; our stories are currently intertwined on a daily basis. We each have friends that are a part and we are blessed because of them. Blessed to have them. Blessed to have each other.
I am given a wonderful gift each and every morning. I have the opportunity to be a wife to my husband and a mother to my children. I am asked to be a sister in Christ and a friend. I am wanted in their lives and they are wanted in mine. The Lord has asked me to love my husband and children on a daily basis. To be with them and to be a part of their story. As very young children, us parents are central to our children's Life Story, but as they grow into their own calling our portion becomes smaller. I pray as my portion becomes smaller, that the gap would be filled with the Lord; that His portion would become larger and fill their hearts and minds.
There are people that enter my life, my story, for a small amount of time and others enter for an extended stay and yet others that are a central thread to the majority of my life. No matter the time frame, I know that our shared time together should mutually write something encouraging. This is right. Ephesians 5:19 and Colossians 3:16 tells us to speak to each other with the message of Christ between us.
I know that daily as we pass strangers there is something to be gained and learned and given. But that is not what I speak of today. I ponder and think on when someone you deeply love is waiting; waiting on so many things, to make sure their life is better and in some cases to make sure their life story does not become a short essay. Sometimes it's smaller issues and sometimes it's very big ones, and everything in between. What can you do? What can I do? I have been asked to be a part of many people's lives. I take that as an honor. I do not receive that lightly, and I'm careful with it. What happens when the path their life is taking is out of your hands and the decisions concerning them lie with someone else or in their own immature hands? What happens if your chapter in their life is almost over? What if it is not? Should I worry about such things? NO. Matthew 6:24-27 speaks first about serving two masters and then says therefore do not worry. It speaks about life being more than food and clothes and then asks if you can add even one hour to your life by worrying. What spoke to me was the admonishment about serving two masters and then the directive to not worry. Seems to me worrying serves the wrong master.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord (Isaiah 55:8). 1 John 5:18-20 speaks about the world being evil, but those that are in Christ are safe and kept safe in Him and that HE is the true God and eternal life. Does that mean being in Christ means nothing bad ever happens? No, again. Psalm 59:16 says, "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble." I wish my first reaction...yes, I know I should not react to circumstances but discern them and choose to act and I know it's a problem and I am working on it...but sometimes my reaction to things is not to run to God and rest in His strength and allow him to be my fortress and comfort and refuge in times of trouble or perceived trouble. Today I held out my arms to my distressed 2 year old to offer comfort and consolation and he stomped his feet and cried harder, angry that he did not get his way, and refused my comfort and my strength. It hit me hard. Oh Lord, forgive me. I've done that to You. Teach me to be a trusting, faithful daughter.
So where have I gone with all of these thoughts? Those I love, those God loves more, have a path to walk; a story the Lord is writing. I've been asked to be a part of their lives and I pray for them and then I leave their story to God. He is faithful. He is good. Jeremiah 29:11 says He has good plans for us; plans for a future and with hope! What better hands can I leave my loved ones in?
He is the perfecter and finisher of our faith and sometimes, well a lot of times, we are asked to walk in faith in order to stretch it in a very personal way. Walking in faith means trusting the One who truly is in control of the eternal pen.
Lord, I sing of your strength and I sing of your love. Let my words reflect that.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Brothers
I really wish I knew what it was about boys and guns. Discourage it all I want, they seem to “use” them anyway. They make them out of legos, out of paper, out of Spiderman action figures. *sigh*
I’ve officially decided to move on. I give up. Yep.You heard it here. I have bigger fish to fry and this isn't one of them. I know this is a controversial subject in parent-land so if you decide to take your toys and go home and not play with us anymore, please know I understand.
Soooo... yesterday I’m putting laundry away and I hear Chewie go “Pshooo! Pshooo!” and then 10 seconds later I hear my 4 year old passionately whining, “Moooooooom! Chewie shot me!!” Um... Chew used his finger. That amused me. Don’t know why. Maybe because I’m embracing little boys? Who knows. I do know that my boys have a good sense of humor and if they see something that triggers a good reaction in anyone, they will pursue it with dogged determination. Perhaps that's where I went wrong in the beginning. Wait. I know that's where I went wrong. *smacking forehead* Oh, the things I learn. I will tuck this lesson away for future reference!
So anyway, this morning Chewie and Jacoby each have a square. You know, those “L” shaped tools used in woodworking. They have plastic ones that came with their tool sets. Both boys stand in the kitchen maybe 3 feet from each other and stare with “guns” pointed. Both are smiling and Chewie goes “One...two...three!” and both boys “shoot”. “Pshoo, pshoo!” is all I hear. Then Jacoby grabs his heart in grand Lia inspired drama and falls to the ground slowly with all the dying-drama he can muster.
(Here is where I pause my story to tell you my girls taught this game. Now see why I give up?)
Chewie runs the three feet over to Jacoby and shouts, “Oh no! Baby!” and offers his hand to Jacoby. The offered hand is graciously accepted with a wide smile and Chew helps Jacoby to his feet. Both boys share a high five, then expect a high five from me, and then take a few steps back and start their stand off again. The entire scene is replayed three times over until Chewie decides it’s enough. They then go hand in hand, smiling, down the hallway to find another game.
Brothers. How precious are they? I pray with all of my heart that they stay that close through all of their years.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wait
I'm clearly told to wait right now. Our family is still in a season of waiting for many things and people. I'm sure yours is too.
Psalm 27:14 says "Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord". The word wait here in Hebrew is qavah. It means to bind together (by twisting); to expect; to look. This word stresses the straining of the mind in a certain direction with an expectant attitude...a forward look with assurance. That means there is no doubt or impatience, but a person having a good attitude while looking for the Lord to act.
The word courage in this scripture that we are to let our heart take is chazaq. This word in Hebrew means to fasten upon, to seize, to be strong, to repair, to bind, to catch, to cleave, to confirm, to be constant, to establish, to fortify, to become mighty, to be sure and stout, and to withstand. Clearly this word is a verb. Verbs are action words. This scripture tells us to let our heart take courage. First, it signifies we have a choice to make. Then, a choice of action.
When qavah means to bind together...what are we binding? We combine a purposeful, expectant attitude with repaired, sure and constant strength. Hold on. Repaired? Does that mean when the Lord asks us to wait for something, and we wait on Him with a good attitude, our strength is actually repaired and made stronger? We become stronger when we wait correctly?
Are you pleasing God with your wait? Am I? This wait seems to be a verb as well. The action of choice here is to wait expectantly with a good attitude. Sometimes that good attitude takes a lot of work. I know mine does. Waiting with a good attitude sounds suspiciously a lot like patience.
Romans 5:3-5(NASB) says "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." I know that perseverance means patience and patience is usually tied in with a whole lot of waiting. The gain of this waiting is a proven character and a solid hope in God's love for us.
I love the way the Message says this scripture. It really changed the way I see it. It says, "There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!" Isn't that incredible? By waiting in qavah fashion, watching for what the Lord will do next, are we not alert and watching for Him? Shouldn't that be the basis for anything and everything happening in our lives, big and small? And if we take courage while waiting for Him, we will only become stronger and more solid in our faith. More faith-full. Faithful. Yes. I want that.
What are you waiting on the Lord for? Are you waiting on Him in qavah fashion?
Psalm 39:7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in You."
Psalm 121:1,2 "I lift my eyes to the mountains - where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth."
Psalm 27:14 says "Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord". The word wait here in Hebrew is qavah. It means to bind together (by twisting); to expect; to look. This word stresses the straining of the mind in a certain direction with an expectant attitude...a forward look with assurance. That means there is no doubt or impatience, but a person having a good attitude while looking for the Lord to act.
The word courage in this scripture that we are to let our heart take is chazaq. This word in Hebrew means to fasten upon, to seize, to be strong, to repair, to bind, to catch, to cleave, to confirm, to be constant, to establish, to fortify, to become mighty, to be sure and stout, and to withstand. Clearly this word is a verb. Verbs are action words. This scripture tells us to let our heart take courage. First, it signifies we have a choice to make. Then, a choice of action.
When qavah means to bind together...what are we binding? We combine a purposeful, expectant attitude with repaired, sure and constant strength. Hold on. Repaired? Does that mean when the Lord asks us to wait for something, and we wait on Him with a good attitude, our strength is actually repaired and made stronger? We become stronger when we wait correctly?
Are you pleasing God with your wait? Am I? This wait seems to be a verb as well. The action of choice here is to wait expectantly with a good attitude. Sometimes that good attitude takes a lot of work. I know mine does. Waiting with a good attitude sounds suspiciously a lot like patience.
Romans 5:3-5(NASB) says "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." I know that perseverance means patience and patience is usually tied in with a whole lot of waiting. The gain of this waiting is a proven character and a solid hope in God's love for us.
I love the way the Message says this scripture. It really changed the way I see it. It says, "There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!" Isn't that incredible? By waiting in qavah fashion, watching for what the Lord will do next, are we not alert and watching for Him? Shouldn't that be the basis for anything and everything happening in our lives, big and small? And if we take courage while waiting for Him, we will only become stronger and more solid in our faith. More faith-full. Faithful. Yes. I want that.
What are you waiting on the Lord for? Are you waiting on Him in qavah fashion?
Psalm 39:7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in You."
Psalm 121:1,2 "I lift my eyes to the mountains - where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth."
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Did you pray for Patience?
I was asked that question yesterday by a friend. My reaction was "Good heaven's, no!". I know how eagerly the Lord likes to answer that prayer and I wasn't jumping on that bandwagon. No siree. No thank you!
Fortunately for me, the Lord knows what I need even if I am unaware. Of course I could be aware but ignoring it but it's all the same thing and comes out in the wash 'cause the Lord deals with it all anyway, right? In this case I wasn't aware but was intrigued.
So, backing up a day. Yesterday the fully completed adoption packet full of paperwork that literally claimed some blood, was sitting in the proper courthouse awaiting the signature of a certain Judge. My Jacoby's adoption would have been complete, finished, and legally binding yesterday. Except for one thing. The Secretary. Ms. Secretary placed this packet of information and pleadings onto a work surface and not only did it get misplaced, but it was buried. Needless to say, the Judge never saw our paperwork and we will have to wait until next week since we have a shortage of judges and the few we do have, rotate counties and only work 1 to 2 days per county.
I was angry. I was really angry. That surprised me and bothered me. That's not usually my first reaction to something. I did realize that the road to this adoption has cost 2 years of time and a large amount of heartache and plenty of prayer. By God's grace and mercy things have turned out well. We clung to 2 Chronicles 16:9a "For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." We've desperately and graciously received that strength. The Word the Lord gave me directly was John 14:1 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me." This, this promise has held me through.
So why so angry? We've been so patient. What is one more week? I think it was the immediate offense I perceived. I unknowingly took offense and thought the Secretary had clear misguided priorities. Sure, the court deals with lots of cases. Most are crimes people did or did not commit. Their lives and how they are lived are in the balance. But in my eyes, I could only see my life. My baby. My desire. My promise. It never occurred to me that what I perceived as blatant disregard for the joy and blessing of adoption, may have simply been an oversight by a very busy woman. Nothing more, nothing less. And to take the plank out of my own eye, how many times am I busy with something important and my child wants to show me a picture or a tent they built and I'm annoyed at the distraction? Or worse, tell them not now?
Romans 5:3 in the KJV says we glory in tribulation, knowing tribulation works patience in us. The NASB says we exult our tribulations knowing that they work perseverance in us. One definition of perseverance is "continuance in a state of grace to the end." Did I remain in a state of grace? Sure. Did I act like it? No.
Patience in Romans 5:3 uses the Greek word hupomone. It means endurance, constancy. Do you know what is written in black ink in my Strong's Concordance concerning the word hupomone? It says, "hupomone is the temper which does not easily succumb under suffering". Ouch. I certainly succumbed. It also says hupomone is opposed to cowardice or despondency. What?! Patience is the opposite of cowardice or despondency. When I looked up cowardice in the dictionary, it says cowardice is the lack of courage to face danger, difficulty, opposition, or pain. Despondency is to be downcast or disheartened, lacking hope and courage.
I have never, never seen despondency as cowardice. I never put the two together. Doesn't Psalm 38:15 say "For I hope in You, O Lord; You will answer, O Lord my God." And Psalm 71:14 says "But as for me, I will hope continually, And will praise you yet more and more." Continually. As in never stopping. Did I really stop hoping? Did I really turn coward and forgo patience? Yep, sure did. And I'm so sorry. Faithfulness is something I so desperately want to walk in and yet when something doesn't go the way I think it should....
Well, lesson learned. Today I walk in patience. Yesterday's cowardice was a momentary glitch on my goal of faithfulness. Good thing grace covers that and that the Lord is a God of second chances.
On the bright side, I have one more week to plan our adoption party!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Victory is sweet, indeed!
I've done the snoopy dance a few times this morning. My heart is light and my joy is abundant. I have a secret I will share later with you. But for now, what makes me stop stirring my hot tea and start giggling? What makes me smile like a Cheshire cat while readying my youngest for his nap?
Let me tell you. My youngest. Yes, you know him as my poop-flinger. You know, he defies...*gasp* duct tape!! Inconceivable, I know. Among wise ideas that were shared with me was this product that is a wearable sleeping bag/sack for kids to stay warm. I'm sure it was created for kids that kick off their blankets, but it will help with my unique purpose too. It can be found online at target, just search for Halo sleep sack. Then you'll know what I'm talking about. Who thinks these things up? Mothers are the inventors of necessities, aren't they?
Anyway, I'm waiting for mine to arrive in the mail. While speaking with my husband last night about this, I was sharing the praises of this wonderful product and why it'll help. He looks unimpressed and asks why don't we just cut the feet off of a pair of pajamas and put it on him backwards?
*crickets chirping*
I stare at him blankly thinking surely he's daft and didn't hear me correctly and therefore simply didn't understand he should be as excited as I am. I informed him he should be excited and he does his worst to feign his joy over this. Where is a gal to find proper enthusiasm when she needs it?
Then I thought about what he'd said. I do have a pair of footie pajamas that are too big for him that I could cut the feet off of. Hmm. One sleep sack isn't going to be enough anyway, so this could work well with the other solution. The more I thought on it, the more excited I was becoming. I was smiling when cutting the feet off the pajamas last night. I would have laughed but the room was full of people and hiding your insanity is the best approach, always. I placed the newly sheared pajamas on him backwards, and felt bubbles of laughter rise as I zippered up the back. Best to wait and see before getting all ahead of myself, right?
I eagerly entered his room this morning and found this child woke up dry and.....dressed!! Fully dressed! BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh yeah. Uh huh. Who's the Mama? Oh yeah! Dance with me. You know you want to.
Ok, ok. I know that being consumed with thoughts of ending world hunger or some other lofty purpose could have said I was a better person. I apologize. Perhaps it's the constant cleaning of feces that drove me off the cliff on this subject. Or, perhaps it's knowing that although I needed some help, I've still outsmarted him.
Or maybe, knowing you have a deviously smart child to raise, you have to take what victories you can get and not be picky about them. Beggars can't be choosers, right?
I'll take it!! I do have to admit I smiled while placing the cut footie pj's over his clothes (zipper in the back!) and then laying him down for a nap today. I smiled and I sang some prideful song about besting him. He smiled and danced in my arms. Think that'll happen when he's 15?
I don't think so either, but what thought lingers in my mind is that someday he will present me with a challenge that I will have to invent a product for to solve and then I'll sell it and make millions. Yep. Love that kid.
Let me tell you. My youngest. Yes, you know him as my poop-flinger. You know, he defies...*gasp* duct tape!! Inconceivable, I know. Among wise ideas that were shared with me was this product that is a wearable sleeping bag/sack for kids to stay warm. I'm sure it was created for kids that kick off their blankets, but it will help with my unique purpose too. It can be found online at target, just search for Halo sleep sack. Then you'll know what I'm talking about. Who thinks these things up? Mothers are the inventors of necessities, aren't they?
Anyway, I'm waiting for mine to arrive in the mail. While speaking with my husband last night about this, I was sharing the praises of this wonderful product and why it'll help. He looks unimpressed and asks why don't we just cut the feet off of a pair of pajamas and put it on him backwards?
*crickets chirping*
I stare at him blankly thinking surely he's daft and didn't hear me correctly and therefore simply didn't understand he should be as excited as I am. I informed him he should be excited and he does his worst to feign his joy over this. Where is a gal to find proper enthusiasm when she needs it?
Then I thought about what he'd said. I do have a pair of footie pajamas that are too big for him that I could cut the feet off of. Hmm. One sleep sack isn't going to be enough anyway, so this could work well with the other solution. The more I thought on it, the more excited I was becoming. I was smiling when cutting the feet off the pajamas last night. I would have laughed but the room was full of people and hiding your insanity is the best approach, always. I placed the newly sheared pajamas on him backwards, and felt bubbles of laughter rise as I zippered up the back. Best to wait and see before getting all ahead of myself, right?
I eagerly entered his room this morning and found this child woke up dry and.....dressed!! Fully dressed! BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh yeah. Uh huh. Who's the Mama? Oh yeah! Dance with me. You know you want to.
Ok, ok. I know that being consumed with thoughts of ending world hunger or some other lofty purpose could have said I was a better person. I apologize. Perhaps it's the constant cleaning of feces that drove me off the cliff on this subject. Or, perhaps it's knowing that although I needed some help, I've still outsmarted him.
Or maybe, knowing you have a deviously smart child to raise, you have to take what victories you can get and not be picky about them. Beggars can't be choosers, right?
I'll take it!! I do have to admit I smiled while placing the cut footie pj's over his clothes (zipper in the back!) and then laying him down for a nap today. I smiled and I sang some prideful song about besting him. He smiled and danced in my arms. Think that'll happen when he's 15?
I don't think so either, but what thought lingers in my mind is that someday he will present me with a challenge that I will have to invent a product for to solve and then I'll sell it and make millions. Yep. Love that kid.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Wisdom
I have this little guy. He is precious beyond belief and is very, very smart. Savant smart. And patient. Saintly patient. So when he goes about doing things he is very steady and persistent. I've honestly never seen anything like it. Regular discouragements don't work on him. He's just too happy to care. Seriously.
Ok, let me back up. So he's two. And adorable. He likes to chew on things and he likes to play his guitar and his drum. He also loves to sing and watch his Wiggles. What is his passion you ask? Let me tell you! Stripping. Yes. You read that right. The child loves to be in the buff. And the more 'discouragement' you place in front of that thrill, the better the sense of accomplishment when it's achieved. Did I mention he was a happy child?
I've tried placing him in the corner. He declared it was his and fought with any other child that would dare come near it. Oh.. and he'd lick the wall. Repeatedly. Um...ew?! I'd have him sit in time out near the table, but he'd play and flirt with anyone around and if you ignore him, he'd sit quiet and contrite and when released, he'd leave with an ear to ear grin and move along as if nothing happened. Then he'd go ahead and do it again. *sigh*
Naptime and bedtime have become his offending time frames. He will happily work at undressing with all the time in the world while I am in the other room falsely relaxing in the quiet I hear.
Let's see. What have I tried? I have placed duct tape on the tabs of the diaper. He learned that the sides are weak and you can rip them. I purchased jeans for him that have adjustable tabs and I make them as tight as possible. This worked for about a month until he figured out how to undo snaps. I have placed duct tape around his entire waist to avoid weak points in the diaper. Know what he did? He spent a ridiculous amount of time patiently peeling layer after layer off the diaper using the leg opening as the starting point. When I went to get him, he was wearing only a sliver duct tape belt and nothing else.
I moved on to overalls. He can't undo the tags at the shoulders, but he can undo the snaps at the sides and pull the diaper out. One afternoon I went to get him from a nap and found him dressed, but his diaper on the floor. As I stared at him in awe and asked him how in the world he did that, he answered in the latest blurb my older children had taught him. "Ta da!!!".
Normally I laugh. I did on the "ta da!" day. I have a good, healthy sense of humor. You have to in order to live here and clean up his poop he flings all over his room every day. In fact, this particular cherub keeps me laughing on most days. But I was feeling defeated yesterday (and tired of cleaning) and in need of reinforcement and encouragement. It's just plain humbling when your two year old outsmarts you.
So I asked some friends if they had any new ideas I could try. Along with some suggestions (yeah!) I was also given some great encouragement. James 1:5 says "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." Then she reminded me that my precious, precocious gift was made just the way the Lord intended him to be and since I was chosen to raise him, all I had to do was ask His Creator what should be done. Not only isn't it a wonderful benefit to be able to ask a Perfect Father what to do, but also that you can ask without any fear of rebuke. I really love the "gives generously to all without finding fault" part of that scripture.
As long as I stay in touch with the One with the answers, I can stay a step ahead of my little Whirlwind. That's reassuring news.
Ok, let me back up. So he's two. And adorable. He likes to chew on things and he likes to play his guitar and his drum. He also loves to sing and watch his Wiggles. What is his passion you ask? Let me tell you! Stripping. Yes. You read that right. The child loves to be in the buff. And the more 'discouragement' you place in front of that thrill, the better the sense of accomplishment when it's achieved. Did I mention he was a happy child?
I've tried placing him in the corner. He declared it was his and fought with any other child that would dare come near it. Oh.. and he'd lick the wall. Repeatedly. Um...ew?! I'd have him sit in time out near the table, but he'd play and flirt with anyone around and if you ignore him, he'd sit quiet and contrite and when released, he'd leave with an ear to ear grin and move along as if nothing happened. Then he'd go ahead and do it again. *sigh*
Naptime and bedtime have become his offending time frames. He will happily work at undressing with all the time in the world while I am in the other room falsely relaxing in the quiet I hear.
Let's see. What have I tried? I have placed duct tape on the tabs of the diaper. He learned that the sides are weak and you can rip them. I purchased jeans for him that have adjustable tabs and I make them as tight as possible. This worked for about a month until he figured out how to undo snaps. I have placed duct tape around his entire waist to avoid weak points in the diaper. Know what he did? He spent a ridiculous amount of time patiently peeling layer after layer off the diaper using the leg opening as the starting point. When I went to get him, he was wearing only a sliver duct tape belt and nothing else.
I moved on to overalls. He can't undo the tags at the shoulders, but he can undo the snaps at the sides and pull the diaper out. One afternoon I went to get him from a nap and found him dressed, but his diaper on the floor. As I stared at him in awe and asked him how in the world he did that, he answered in the latest blurb my older children had taught him. "Ta da!!!".
Normally I laugh. I did on the "ta da!" day. I have a good, healthy sense of humor. You have to in order to live here and clean up his poop he flings all over his room every day. In fact, this particular cherub keeps me laughing on most days. But I was feeling defeated yesterday (and tired of cleaning) and in need of reinforcement and encouragement. It's just plain humbling when your two year old outsmarts you.
So I asked some friends if they had any new ideas I could try. Along with some suggestions (yeah!) I was also given some great encouragement. James 1:5 says "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." Then she reminded me that my precious, precocious gift was made just the way the Lord intended him to be and since I was chosen to raise him, all I had to do was ask His Creator what should be done. Not only isn't it a wonderful benefit to be able to ask a Perfect Father what to do, but also that you can ask without any fear of rebuke. I really love the "gives generously to all without finding fault" part of that scripture.
As long as I stay in touch with the One with the answers, I can stay a step ahead of my little Whirlwind. That's reassuring news.
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