Brothers

I really wish I knew what it was about boys and guns. Discourage it all I want, they seem to “use” them anyway. They make them out of legos, out of paper, out of Spiderman action figures. *sigh* 

I’ve officially decided to move on. I give up. Yep.You heard it here. I have bigger fish to fry and this isn't one of them. I know this is a controversial subject in parent-land so if you decide to take your toys and go home and not play with us anymore, please know I understand.

Soooo... yesterday I’m putting laundry away and I hear Chewie go “Pshooo! Pshooo!” and then 10 seconds later I hear my 4 year old passionately whining, “Moooooooom! Chewie shot me!!” Um... Chew used his finger. That amused me. Don’t know why. Maybe because I’m embracing little boys? Who knows. I do know that my boys have a good sense of humor and if they see something that triggers a good reaction in anyone, they will pursue it with dogged determination. Perhaps that's where I went wrong in the beginning. Wait. I know that's where I went wrong. *smacking forehead* Oh, the things I learn. I will tuck this lesson away for future reference!

So anyway, this morning Chewie and Jacoby each have a square. You know, those “L” shaped tools used in woodworking. They have plastic ones that came with their tool sets.  Both boys stand in the kitchen maybe 3 feet from each other and stare with “guns” pointed. Both are smiling and Chewie goes “One...two...three!” and both boys “shoot”. “Pshoo, pshoo!” is all I hear. Then Jacoby grabs his heart in grand Lia inspired drama and falls to the ground slowly with all the dying-drama he can muster. 

(Here is where I pause my story to tell you my girls taught this game. Now see why I give up?) 

Chewie runs the three feet over to Jacoby and shouts, “Oh no! Baby!” and offers his hand to Jacoby. The offered hand is graciously accepted with a wide smile and Chew helps Jacoby to his feet. Both boys share a high five, then expect a high five from me, and then take a few steps back and start their stand off again. The entire scene is replayed three times over until Chewie decides it’s enough. They then go hand in hand, smiling, down the hallway to find another game.

Brothers. How precious are they? I pray with all of my heart that they stay that close through all of their years.

Wait

I'm clearly told to wait right now. Our family is still in a season of waiting for many things and people. I'm sure yours is too.

Psalm 27:14 says "Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord".  The word wait here in Hebrew is qavah. It means to bind together (by twisting); to expect; to look. This word stresses the straining of the mind in a certain direction with an expectant attitude...a forward look with assurance. That means there is no doubt or impatience, but a person having a good attitude while looking for the Lord to act.

The word courage in this scripture that we are to let our heart take is chazaq. This word in Hebrew means to fasten upon, to seize, to be strong, to repair, to bind, to catch, to cleave, to confirm, to be constant, to establish, to fortify, to become mighty, to be sure and stout, and to withstand. Clearly this word is a verb. Verbs are action words. This scripture tells us to let our heart take courage.  First, it signifies we have a choice to make. Then, a choice of action. 

When qavah means to bind together...what are we binding? We combine a purposeful, expectant attitude with repaired, sure and constant strength. Hold on. Repaired? Does that mean when the Lord asks us to wait for something, and we wait on Him with a good attitude, our strength is actually repaired and made stronger? We become stronger when we wait correctly?

Are you pleasing God with your wait? Am I? This wait seems to be a verb as well. The action of choice here is to wait expectantly with a good attitude. Sometimes that good attitude takes a lot of work. I know mine does. Waiting with a good attitude sounds suspiciously a lot like patience.

Romans 5:3-5(NASB) says "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." I know that perseverance means patience and patience is usually tied in with a whole lot of waiting. The gain of this waiting is a proven character and a solid hope in God's love for us. 

I love the way the Message says this scripture. It really changed the way I see it. It says, "There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!" Isn't that incredible? By waiting in qavah fashion, watching for what the Lord will do next, are we not alert and watching for Him? Shouldn't that be the basis for anything and everything happening in our lives, big and small? And if we take courage while waiting for Him, we will only become stronger and more solid in our faith. More faith-full. Faithful. Yes. I want that.

What are you waiting on the Lord for? Are you waiting on Him in qavah fashion?

Psalm 39:7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in You."

Psalm 121:1,2  "I lift my eyes to the mountains - where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth."

Did you pray for Patience?

I was asked that question yesterday by a friend. My reaction was "Good heaven's, no!". I know how eagerly the Lord likes to answer that prayer and I wasn't jumping on that bandwagon. No siree. No thank you!

Fortunately for me, the Lord knows what I need even if I am unaware. Of course I could be aware but ignoring it but it's all the same thing and comes out in the wash 'cause the Lord deals with it all anyway, right? In this case I wasn't aware but was intrigued.

So, backing up a day. Yesterday the fully completed adoption packet full of paperwork that literally claimed some blood, was sitting in the proper courthouse awaiting the signature of a certain Judge. My Jacoby's adoption would have been complete, finished, and legally binding yesterday. Except for one thing. The Secretary. Ms. Secretary placed this packet of information and pleadings onto a work surface and not only did it get misplaced, but it was buried. Needless to say, the Judge never saw our paperwork and we will have to wait until next week since we have a shortage of judges and the few we do have, rotate counties and only work 1 to 2 days per county. 


I was angry. I was really angry. That surprised me and bothered me. That's not usually my first reaction to something. I did realize that the road to this adoption has cost 2 years of time and a large amount of heartache and plenty of prayer. By God's grace and mercy things have turned out well. We clung to 2 Chronicles 16:9a "For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." We've desperately and graciously received that strength. The Word the Lord gave me directly was John 14:1 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me." This, this promise has held me through.


So why so angry? We've been so patient. What is one more week? I think it was the immediate offense I perceived. I unknowingly took offense and thought the Secretary had clear misguided priorities. Sure, the court deals with lots of cases. Most are crimes people did or did not commit. Their lives and how they are lived are in the balance. But in my eyes, I could only see my life. My baby. My desire. My promise. It never occurred to me that what I perceived as blatant disregard for the joy and blessing of adoption, may have simply been an oversight by a very busy woman. Nothing more, nothing less. And to take the plank out of my own eye, how many times am I busy with something important and my child wants to show me a picture or a tent they built and I'm annoyed at the distraction? Or worse, tell them not now?


Romans 5:3 in the KJV says we glory in tribulation, knowing tribulation works patience in us. The NASB says we exult our tribulations knowing that they work perseverance in us. One definition of perseverance is "continuance in a state of grace to the end." Did I remain in a state of grace? Sure. Did I act like it? No.


Patience in Romans 5:3 uses the Greek word hupomone. It means endurance, constancy. Do you know what is written in black ink in my Strong's Concordance concerning the word hupomone? It says, "hupomone is the temper which does not easily succumb under suffering". Ouch. I certainly succumbed. It also says hupomone is opposed to cowardice or despondency. What?! Patience is the opposite of cowardice or despondency. When I looked up cowardice in the dictionary, it says cowardice is the lack of courage to face danger, difficulty, opposition, or pain. Despondency is to be downcast or disheartened, lacking hope and courage. 

I have never, never seen despondency as cowardice. I never put the two together. Doesn't Psalm 38:15 say "For I hope in You, O Lord; You will answer, O Lord my God."   And Psalm 71:14 says "But as for me, I will hope continually, And will praise you yet more and more." Continually. As in never stopping. Did I really stop hoping? Did I really turn coward and forgo patience? Yep, sure did. And I'm so sorry. Faithfulness is something I so desperately want to walk in and yet when something doesn't go the way I think it should.... 


Well, lesson learned. Today I walk in patience. Yesterday's cowardice was a  momentary glitch on my goal of faithfulness. Good thing grace covers that and that the Lord is a God of second chances.

On the bright side, I have one more week to plan our adoption party! 

Victory is sweet, indeed!

I've done the snoopy dance a few times this morning. My heart is light and my joy is abundant. I have a secret I will share later with you. But for now, what makes me stop stirring my hot tea and start giggling? What makes me smile like a Cheshire cat while readying my youngest for his nap?

Let me tell you. My youngest. Yes, you know him as my poop-flinger. You know, he defies...*gasp* duct tape!! Inconceivable, I know. Among wise ideas that were shared with me was this product that is a wearable sleeping bag/sack for kids to stay warm. I'm sure it was created for kids that kick off their blankets, but it will help with my unique purpose too. It can be found online at target, just search for Halo sleep sack. Then you'll know what I'm talking about. Who thinks these things up? Mothers are the inventors of necessities, aren't they?

Anyway, I'm waiting for mine to arrive in the mail. While speaking with my husband last night about this, I was sharing the praises of this wonderful product and why it'll help. He looks unimpressed and asks why don't we just cut the feet off of a pair of pajamas and put it on him backwards? 

*crickets chirping* 

I stare at him blankly thinking surely he's daft and didn't hear me correctly and therefore simply didn't understand he should be as excited as I am. I informed him he should be excited and he does his worst to feign his joy over this.  Where is a gal to find proper enthusiasm when she needs it?


Then I thought about what he'd said. I do have a pair of footie pajamas that are too big for him that I could cut the feet off of. Hmm. One sleep sack isn't going to be enough anyway, so this could work well with the other solution. The more I thought on it, the more excited I was becoming. I was smiling when cutting the feet off the pajamas last night. I would have laughed but the room was full of people and hiding your insanity is the best approach, always. I placed the newly sheared pajamas on him backwards, and felt bubbles of laughter rise as I zippered up the back. Best to wait and see before getting all ahead of myself, right?


I eagerly entered his room this morning and found this child woke up dry and.....dressed!! Fully dressed! BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh yeah. Uh huh. Who's the Mama? Oh yeah! Dance with me. You know you want to.


Ok, ok. I know that being consumed with thoughts of ending world hunger or some other lofty purpose could have said I was a better person. I apologize. Perhaps it's the constant cleaning of feces that drove me off the cliff on this subject. Or, perhaps it's knowing that although I needed some help, I've still outsmarted him.


Or maybe, knowing you have a deviously smart child to raise, you have to take what victories you can get and not be picky about them. Beggars can't be choosers, right? 


I'll take it!! I do have to admit I smiled while placing the cut footie pj's over his clothes (zipper in the back!) and then laying him down for a nap today. I smiled and I sang some prideful song about besting him. He smiled and danced in my arms.  Think that'll happen when he's 15?


I don't think so either, but what thought lingers in my mind is that someday he will present me with a challenge that I will have to invent a product for to solve and then I'll sell it and make millions. Yep. Love that kid.

Wisdom

I have this little guy. He is precious beyond belief and is very, very smart. Savant smart. And patient. Saintly patient. So when he goes about doing things he is very steady and persistent. I've honestly never seen anything like it. Regular discouragements don't work on him. He's just too happy to care. Seriously.

Ok, let me back up. So he's two. And adorable. He likes to chew on things and he likes to play his guitar and his drum. He also loves to sing and watch his Wiggles. What is his passion you ask? Let me tell you! Stripping. Yes. You read that right. The child loves to be in the buff. And the more 'discouragement' you place in front of that thrill, the better the sense of accomplishment when it's achieved. Did I mention he was a happy child? 

I've tried placing him in the corner. He declared it was his and fought with any other child that would dare come near it. Oh.. and he'd lick the wall. Repeatedly. Um...ew?! I'd have him sit in time out near the table, but he'd play and flirt with anyone around and if you ignore him, he'd sit quiet and contrite and when released, he'd leave with an ear to ear grin and move along as if nothing happened. Then he'd go ahead and do it again.  *sigh* 

Naptime and bedtime have become his offending time frames. He will happily work at undressing with all the time in the world while I am in the other room falsely relaxing in the quiet I hear. 

Let's see. What have I tried? I have placed duct tape on the tabs of the diaper. He learned that the sides are weak and you can rip them. I purchased jeans for him that have adjustable tabs and I make them as tight as possible. This worked for about a month until he figured out how to undo snaps. I have placed duct tape around his entire waist to avoid weak points in the diaper. Know what he did? He spent a ridiculous amount of time patiently peeling layer after layer off the diaper using the leg opening as the starting point. When I went to get him, he was wearing only a sliver duct tape belt and nothing else. 

I moved on to overalls. He can't undo the tags at the shoulders, but he can undo the snaps at the sides and pull the diaper out. One afternoon I went to get him from a nap and found him dressed, but his diaper on the floor. As I stared at him in awe and asked him how in the world he did that, he answered in the latest blurb my older children had taught him. "Ta da!!!". 

Normally I laugh. I did on the "ta da!" day. I have a good, healthy sense of humor. You have to in order to live here and clean up his poop he flings all over his room every day. In fact, this particular cherub keeps me laughing on most days. But I was feeling defeated yesterday (and tired of cleaning) and in need of reinforcement and encouragement. It's just plain humbling when your two year old outsmarts you. 

So I asked some friends if they had any new ideas I could try. Along with some suggestions (yeah!) I was also given some great encouragement. James 1:5 says "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." Then she reminded me that my precious, precocious gift was made just the way the Lord intended him to be and since I was chosen to raise him, all I had to do was ask His Creator what should be done.  Not only isn't it a wonderful benefit to be able to ask a Perfect Father what to do, but also that you can ask without any fear of rebuke. I really love the "gives generously to all without finding fault" part of that scripture. 


As long as I stay in touch with the One with the answers, I can stay a step ahead of my little Whirlwind. That's reassuring news.

Wired thinking?

I think we can all agree that the Lord has created men to think in a certain pattern and women in another. It can make for fun conversations! 

While seeing a new doctor the other day, he was asking about my home life (yes, it was pertinent) and I ran down the basics. When mentioning I had six kids at home, he looked at me as if I'd lost my mind. His eyes glazed over and his jaw dropped to the ground. Oh, don't worry. I'm really used to seeing that look in people's eyes. I get a similar, less intense, look when I mention we home school our children. I didn't mention that particular fact as it wasn't important to why I was there and the poor man had a hard enough time re-aligning his jaw from that drop to the floor. He was, after all, a tall man. 

After he mentioned twice that he and his wife just had their third child and how busy those little people can keep you, he asked me what did my husband do.  I naturally laughed and told him that my husband goes to work every morning and tells me to have a great day! 

Now, here's where I explain that he stared at me and then he laughed. He is a man and is wired to protect and provide for a family. He obviously wanted to know what my husband did, as in, profession. You know, how does he feed all those kids?  As a woman and mother, my concern was in getting through the day! Believe me, some days are better than others!

These thoughts?

I sometimes have these thoughts. These things that I think on and wonder about and mull over. Sometimes about peripheral things, things floating on the outside of my life. Things that don't directly affect me.  

Most of the time it's about things I've been made aware of.  I want to be a better wife. I also desire to be a better mother. Most of all, I want to be a better Daughter. A better daughter to the One that matters most. To Whom I would be nothing if not for His saving Grace. And believe me, it's all grace. If you really knew me, you'd understand. If you've given your life to Jesus, you already understand.

Onward in my introduction here. I have notebooks. I have lots of notebooks. All are written in, none are filled. I'm always starting a new one. I have no idea why. Perhaps it's my unorganized secret. Maybe I should be ashamed, but I'm not. So I'm going to try to keep all my 'thoughts' in one virtual notebook.

One last important bit of information is that my family is a bit...uh...extra-ordinary. Crazy things happen here. And some of it is worth sharing. I'm not a professional writer and I haven't gone to college for it. I  am passionate about this crazy adventure I call my life, though. My God is perfect, my husband is awesome and my kids are priceless. Good stuff right there!